In the book of Acts there is a magician who tried to purchase the power of the Holy Spirit. He wanted to buy it for a price, through a cash transaction (Acts 8:18-19). His proposal sounds absurd. And yet, don’t we sometimes seek to do the same thing?
I do. The Spirit provides love, joy, peace, and other fruits (Galatians 5:22-23)—fruits that I often feel are missing. The Spirit provides an informing, uplifting, transforming power, and when I feel that I am lacking in that power, I want to more aggressively go after it. I want to figure out the steps or formula for finding, chasing, and capturing the Holy Spirit, just so I can willfully follow through with that formula. I want to bottle the Spirit like a jar of fireflies so I can take it back with me into my own darkness.
Yet the language of scripture is more passive than this. We are to “be filled with the Spirit.” That phrasing—very familiar to many—implies a couple of things. First, it implies that the pouring is already being done. We just have to “be filled.” Second, it implies that we already have the capacity. We just have to see our own waiting capacity get filled with the right thing. Indeed, this second point is more than just implied; it is explicitly stated. Scripture cites being “drunk on wine” as an example of something to get out of the container so that the Spirit can more completely fill it (Ephesians 5:18).
In other words, finding God via the Holy Spirit is not a matter of striving. It is not a matter of active and energetic attainment, and not a matter of paying a sufficient price. It is not a matter of these things—no matter how much I might like the exchange to work this way, during the times when I am so sullen and closed-in that striving and paying prices are all I can think to do. Rather than what we actively attain, the Spirit is found in what we passively deny. It is found in what we give up. Indeed, I seem to relearn this each time I finally do reach the bottom of despair. Hitting the bottom one more time again, I give up.
I give up.
That is, I give up on seeing the aims of my personal pride realized.
I give up, finally, on the hope of seeing the slights against me avenged.
I give up on expecting the various rewards and indulgences to which I feel I am entitled.
Once I reach the point where these things are no longer the demands I revere, then more space is left for the Spirit to fill me. Try it yourself. Try surrender, and when you do this, see if love and peace do not find you as if by accident. God is doing the pouring.
***
Photo: Pedro J. Pérez
I do. The Spirit provides love, joy, peace, and other fruits (Galatians 5:22-23)—fruits that I often feel are missing. The Spirit provides an informing, uplifting, transforming power, and when I feel that I am lacking in that power, I want to more aggressively go after it. I want to figure out the steps or formula for finding, chasing, and capturing the Holy Spirit, just so I can willfully follow through with that formula. I want to bottle the Spirit like a jar of fireflies so I can take it back with me into my own darkness.
Yet the language of scripture is more passive than this. We are to “be filled with the Spirit.” That phrasing—very familiar to many—implies a couple of things. First, it implies that the pouring is already being done. We just have to “be filled.” Second, it implies that we already have the capacity. We just have to see our own waiting capacity get filled with the right thing. Indeed, this second point is more than just implied; it is explicitly stated. Scripture cites being “drunk on wine” as an example of something to get out of the container so that the Spirit can more completely fill it (Ephesians 5:18).
In other words, finding God via the Holy Spirit is not a matter of striving. It is not a matter of active and energetic attainment, and not a matter of paying a sufficient price. It is not a matter of these things—no matter how much I might like the exchange to work this way, during the times when I am so sullen and closed-in that striving and paying prices are all I can think to do. Rather than what we actively attain, the Spirit is found in what we passively deny. It is found in what we give up. Indeed, I seem to relearn this each time I finally do reach the bottom of despair. Hitting the bottom one more time again, I give up.
I give up.
That is, I give up on seeing the aims of my personal pride realized.
I give up, finally, on the hope of seeing the slights against me avenged.
I give up on expecting the various rewards and indulgences to which I feel I am entitled.
Once I reach the point where these things are no longer the demands I revere, then more space is left for the Spirit to fill me. Try it yourself. Try surrender, and when you do this, see if love and peace do not find you as if by accident. God is doing the pouring.
***
Photo: Pedro J. Pérez
